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tamara nicole
12 July 2010 @ 06:39 am
it's been ages. summer is alright so far. going to English Bay later this afternoon. my boyfriend is really sweet and understanding, and at one point in the spring we had 8 kitties tearing the house apart and being cute at the same time. if I had to give advice to anyone, about kittens.. well.. everyone loves strawberries. you love them. I love them. don't take in a strawberry field because you like having strawberries for breakfast or dessert. be ready to enjoy them every day, and feed them, and help them grow. it's so different than having them once a while. same with kittens. they are cute and sweet but don't take one in unless you are totally hardcore gonna be in it for the long run. I kind of regret not thinking it over enough but.. I dunno. I keep reminding myself this when I want to get a puppy. hah!

Current Mood: relaxed
Current Music: MNDR
tamara nicole
28 December 2009 @ 04:46 am

Current Mood: cold
tamara nicole
28 December 2009 @ 03:36 am

train station the other morning. it was cold, and so solitary in the fog. your steps sort of echo on the smooth steps down into the darkness. i hate wishing for things, for more things, things to fill me, things to surround me, the kind of craving you can never lose in the city. i feel like discarding everything except for my love, and moving away.

" the comets / have such a space to cross / Such coldness, forgetfulness / So your gestures flake off -

Warm and human / then their pink light / Bleeding and peeling

Through the black amnesias of heaven / Why am I given

These lamps, these planets / Falling like blessings, like flakes

Six sided, white / On my eyes, my lips, my hair

Touching and melting / Nowhere. "
Current Mood: cold
tamara nicole
25 December 2009 @ 04:06 am
i wish there was a constant. depression either makes me really good at sleeping

or really bad.

merry christmas

Current Mood: awake
tamara nicole
19 December 2009 @ 04:10 am
somebody needs this i don't know who, but i know somebody needs this song

to dance to in your underwear
on the bed
feeling like you don't want to give a fuck
and just be in love or something.

whole wide world
Current Mood: loved
tamara nicole
19 December 2009 @ 12:24 am
hey guys don't eat a million salt & vinegar chips unless you prefer an awful stinging tongue for days.
tamara nicole
16 December 2009 @ 04:34 am
it's so easy to fall in love. it can happen while you aren't even thinking. and you are standing before the oven not even thinking of anything in particular and it can slowly filter through your body and you don't realize it. it does not sneak up on you, it envelopes you slowly over the hours you spend together. then one day your mind steps back as you kiss, and it replays the moment in your head instantly telling you this is love and that you are in it. i don't know about others but for me it is this painful beautiful thing. i don't know. does anybody know?

anyways nathan mailed me this packaged from hellokitty.com for christmas. haha it's actually really cute and i wish i could have photographed it better. otherwise, i'm not anticipating christmas too much. i have no idea where i'll be! rob helped me find a dress and hopefully we can go places.

yeah i don't know what to think these days.
Current Mood: passive.
Current Music: unstoppable
tamara nicole
11 December 2009 @ 08:26 pm
five alive! i could live off you and crackers you are delicious
tamara nicole
09 December 2009 @ 07:54 pm
you know, i've always had overreactions to most things. inside i am this neutral thing and i am stable and attentive but outside i don't realize i say things i don't really mean. like there are so many words and i tend to grab handfuls of them, like there is just too much excess, and that is the overreaction.

i've always been afraid of money, of not having enough, or having too much and spending too fast. when i was three or four years old on my birthday, i received an envelope of money from somebody and it was a lot, actually. our company left, and my mother was washing cake off the dishes in the kitchen and i turned the envelope upside down on the wall-unit to leave a small pile of bills that i didn't want because it scared me to own too much. i was four! i think that's why my mother brought me shopping and used the birthday money then because i was just too weird to figure that it was okay to buy things.

of course now a days, i just buy things too often, i think.

i feel empty now.
Current Mood: cold
Current Music: none
tamara nicole
07 December 2009 @ 01:34 pm
i'm sitting down eating cookies out of this damn box wondering that as we all tread so carefully, trying our hardest not to interrupt the flow of things because they seem so delicate, so fragile, so temporary, we are being blown over by a huge gust of 'wind of Realization' .. that in actuality things are permanent, our words are carved into our lives with permanence, and half of us don't understand the importance our impressions make on a day to day basis.

it's today, this minute, that will create a memory of your past, things don't occur later when you are ready, nobody is ever ready, it's just this huge accumulation of small minutes you are passive about that collect together to create reality and who you are, and who we are. if you forget about being passive, and remember to be passionate, and involved, is when you find that that damn box of cookies is actually a huge memory just waiting to explode onto you one day when you are crying and remembering and eating some other cookie or kissing some other person.

there is a catch though, we all have scattered memories that create who we are, right? well i may remember this box of cookies and that is how i perceive happiness and how i remember myself being nineteen but maybe you won't remember the box at all, but some other box that day, and that is how you look at things. our perspectives overlap to create the reality we live in right this moment.

hmm, i'm craving oranges. perhaps i will buy a box of mandarins later. why do interesting foods come served in boxes?
Current Mood: cold